I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
