so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
