Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
