just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize