ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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