It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
