tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
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btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
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Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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