um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
