Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
