Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
