I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
