tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You need a sexual gate keeper
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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