You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize