Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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