Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
