I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I wear drunk well.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
