so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize