if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
