My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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