I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
