I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just pee around me
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
