filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I need a beard to bite.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
