doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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