So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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