Swine flu is the new snow day.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
