hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
