She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Drake has all the answers
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
