I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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