Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
