I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Everything about him screamed your future.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
