rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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