He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
do nipples grow back?
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