i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
