You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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