Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
