It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
