You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It's just like the Real World with babies
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
