just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
