thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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