you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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