I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
