I'm really into asian looking animals
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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