Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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