the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
