I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
