whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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