can we get nightvision for the apartment?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I could make wine with my vomit
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
