Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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