well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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