Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
