i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
