You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
he's single and there are thong briefs.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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