I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
