Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
3pm strippers are depressing
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
