I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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