i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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