Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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