Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
now i know why i became what i already was.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
