i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
