Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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