is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
