Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
