tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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