He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
